And then you realize even if you were to say no, you’re already fucked. Even though you’d always told yourself that you had to say no, that you shouldn’t, you couldn’t say yes. You’d always known deep down that you couldn’t say no. There was nothing else you wanted more and you’d just told yourself over and over and over that it wasn’t the right thing. That was the only way to justify to yourself that it hadn’t worked out. That was the only way to make it simple. Cause you’re scared as hell you’d be fucked if you said yes. And then you realize you already are fucked. And that he didn’t even ask. But you’ve already said yes. That even before it became an option or you knew you had, you’d sunk it all in that last gamble and he had you. Whether he knew it or not. Whether he wanted it or not. He had you. The you you couldn’t get back.